Empathic people pick up the emotions and energies of others around them. It goes beyond the normal loving compassion that anyone might feel on witnessing a friend in pain. The empath absorbs the pain and connects with it emotionally, feeling it as though it were their direct experience, heavily influenced by the emotions around them.
Those of us who are empathic sometimes absorb energy around us and think it is ours. It might not be until later – after the interaction is over and we’re back at home in our familiar environment – that we realize what we were feeling was from someone else. This temporary loss of self often results in being drained of energy and becoming ungrounded. An empathic friend describes it as “walking around in the world as a tuning fork.”
Over time, empathic people often develop techniques to help shield them when around strong emotions. They also find ways to be more grounded in their life and to create healthy boundaries for their protection.
Here are 2 helpful techniques to use in the moment:
1) The Question Method. If you start to feel swayed by strong emotion coming from another person, ask a series of questions to help gain perspective and distance.
For example, if a friend is sharing a painful story from her childhood, you might have a silent conversation with yourself that goes like this:
“Wow, what Maryellen is sharing is very sad. And now I’m feeling very sad.”
“Did this sad thing happen to me?”
“No, it happened to Maryellen.”
“Do I need to feel sad?”
“No, I don’t need to take this on, I can just listen with compassion.”
The questions act as an internal filtering process and help us realize that the emotion we’re feeling is not ours.
2) The Line. If you feel yourself starting to get pulled into someone else’s emotion or drama, envision in your mind’s eye drawing a line between that person and you. That line now becomes the dividing point between what’s theirs and what’s yours.
Then very consciously examine what’s on your side of the line. If you find any of their emotion or their energy, imagine sending it gently back to them. And then consciously look on their side of the line for anything of yours. If you find any of your emotion or your energy, imagine gently pulling it back to your side of the line.
This helps us be responsible for only what is ours and over time will help strengthen our boundaries.
Do you have a technique you’d care to share?
Thank you for helping people cope, with this good advice.
These are very good ideas. Thanks for sharing!
I learned a really simple technique that helps out a lot. When we stand, facing someone, us empaths can really absorb the full extent of the energy from the person and what they are sending out. So when it’s joyful energy, that’s one thing, but when it’s negative energy, a great thing to do is to shift how you are standing. Instead of your body facing their body, simply turn a bit. And if that’s not giving you as much shielding as needed, turn more. Also, if you are in a situation where you need to remain there and you’ve shifted as much as possible, then you’ll be more able to work with the energy that is coming at you. Also note, that turning your back is like facing a person… you can still really absorb a lot of energy, so stay turned perpendicular to the person you are communicating with.
Elliot, thanks for the helpful suggestion! Besides making less of our energy field available, changing position will also help shift the energy matrix between us and the other person.
These are good ideas. Thanks for posting them. I have a couple additional suggestions. I close off, physically, by folding my arms, clasping my hands, and/or crossing my legs when I need to. I also disengage from eye contact when I am in public, although I do observe people’s body language. I’ve also experimented with turning off my empathy in some situations where it is distracting (for example, driving in a traffic jam where other drivers are irritated).
K, thanks for the helpful suggestions, and also the reminder that our empathy is based on the same connection that our intuition comes from, and as such we can "control the volume."
Great ideas…I also envision a white light between me and the negativity…like a waterfall of light. I imagine it is clearing the space between us, bathing us both in Love. And then to calm the chatter in my mind, I silently repeat "I do not need to give emotional energy to this." Often just that statement to myself is enough… I’m grateful for this gift of being an empath and know that I need to keep learning how best to manifest it. Thanks for the place to share ideas!
Kathy, excellent suggestions. Thank you for sharing! I like the affirmation you use. 🙂
Wow! This happened to me recently. My clint was really sad and I felt myself wanting to cry. I WASN’T SAD. So I guess I really am an empath!Thanks Deb and everyone for the really helpful suggestions!!!!!