Early on in my shamanic journey, I sat in many different spiritual circles and classes. Often the gatherings would open with a talking circle for everyone to share their recent experiences. As people spoke their truth, their pain and suffering would emerge. With each person who shared, my energy would get more and more depleted.
My mood would plummet, and I would end up crying as each group member took their turn to speak. Even if I had come to class in a good space, before we were halfway around the circle, I would be the energetic equivalent of a sobbing mass of jelly curled up on the floor.
Somewhere along the way, I realized I was an empath thanks to a spiritual mentor who shared her personal experience and defined the term.
Even after having the realization, I was still highly uncomfortable in a talking circle where people spoke about their pain. Over time, out of self-preservation, I developed a tool which helped me separate from what was being shared. I called it “the question method.”
When I started to feel unmoored by something someone was sharing, I would immediately begin a silent dialogue process with myself in my head. It went like this:
What am I feeling?
I’m feeling sadness and pain.
Is this sadness and pain mine?
No, it’s Sally’s.
Did this sad and painful thing that Sally is talking about happen to me?
No, it happened to Sally.
Do I want to take on this sadness and pain?
No, taking this on won’t help Sally, and it will just make me feel bad.
I can support Sally more effectively by staying clear of the energy.
Through this tool and several others, I learned to more clearly separate my energy from the energy of others and to set healthy boundaries for myself. In shamanic healing sessions and in teaching classes, I am now able to hold space for others to share their pain and suffering without taking it on.
This “question method” is especially helpful right now with so much causing distress in the world. We can be better global citizens if we take action from our center, in alignment with our soul, rather than being buffeted by taking on the pain of the world.
At the “Energy Essentials for Empaths” class we learn many tools to help us be more comfortable in our physical and energetic body. We become empowered and learn that we are not at the whim of energetic forces around us, but rather that we can learn to manage our energetic sensitivities and abilities.
This work is real, and it matters.
August 11, 2021