About five years into my shamanic practice, several people inquired whether I taught others to do what I did. Their queries stirred something in me. I said yes and committed to offering a two-year shamanic medicine wheel.
After deciding that the program would meet one weekend every three months, I had the sinking realization I wouldn’t have the energy both to teach the medicine wheel and maintain a practice in two locations. Although I was living in Wisconsin, I also traveled to Iowa one week a month.
The moment I pulled this fully into my awareness, I had to pause and take a deep breath. Then I burst into tears. I didn’t want to give up going to Iowa. I loved the people there, and I had many friends and connections.
I sat with this decision for a while to make sure it felt right. The thought crossed my mind that if I truly wanted to continue my practice in Iowa, I could abandon plans for the medicine wheel. But the call of my soul to move forward in offering more in-depth classes was stronger than the desire to keep things as they were.
Even though I freely made the decision to close my practice in the Quad Cities, I grieved deeply. For several months, I mourned the loss of regular connection with the people there. Gradually those feelings passed, and I could be present and whole-heartedly create the medicine wheel. It was an exciting time and fulfilled my desire to hold deeper space for clients and students to heal. It was the right decision. I am now in the middle of the fourth offering, and it has expanded my life and my abilities in many beautiful ways.
That year of preparation and then the first offering of the medicine wheel were an example of being in liminal space. My focus was moving from one thing to something else. Anything could have manifested. That’s part of what makes liminal space space so frightening. We may be asked to give up something we love in order to make room for what is manifesting.
When we surrender to the transformative energy of liminal space, we step into greater alignment with our soul. In doing so, we may need to let go of what no longer serves us in order to move forward. Depending on our level of attachment to what we’re being asked to give up, this can be deeply terrifying.
When I initially left the corporate world to open a full-time practice, I felt the calling of my soul to serve a greater purpose in the world. I gave up the security of a regular paycheck in order to follow my soul’s need for meaning. I had a full-blown meltdown the day I gave notice and experienced a panic attack for much of the first three months. It took me about a year to adjust to the unknowns of being self-employed. Even though I had to simplify my lifestyle to meet my new budget, I have never regretted my decision because it brought me to where I am today.
This work is real, and it matters.
November 19, 2021