A few years ago, I had been having a really good day. I was grounded and centered in my own being, and there were no pressing matters on the internal landscape. I was in a good space.
That afternoon I made a quick shopping trip to Farm & Fleet. The cashier at the checkout was having a leisurely conversation with a customer ahead of me. When she turned her attention to scanning my items, she was extremely slow. I instantly moved into a place of frustration and impatience. Luckily my edginess didn’t come out in words or actions.
Even in the midst of being triggered, I was still connected enough to my center to notice my response. “Wow, Debra. You just went from 0 to 60 in five seconds!” I was able to be kind and gentle with myself, observing more as a matter of curiosity rather than a place of self-judgment.
When I thought about it, my over-the-top response was rather hilarious because I had nowhere to go and nothing to do that day. I could spare the extra two minutes.
The part of me that was able to stand back and notice my reaction from a neutral place is known as the witness/observer.
The witness/observer is the aspect of our being that is always connected to the bigger picture. It trusts the interconnectedness of all in a way that our conditioned self cannot. Because it knows our soul’s lessons for this lifetime, it understands exactly why we chose this body, this family, and this set of experiences in this physical incarnation.
The witness/observer sits back and watches the events of our life unfold as though we were actors on a stage. It reminds us that in this lifetime, we are playing the role of someone who’s experienced betrayal, an abusive family, or health challenges in order to round out our soul’s highest growth and learning. It helps us embrace the bigger truth – that we are not these painful situations. We are beings with divine consciousness.
Observing from the standpoint of the witness/observer, even though there’s a bit of a distance involved, is not the same as disassociating. When we disassociate, we leave our body and are no longer present. We might experience a ringing in our ears or the sensation of standing outside our body. We might feel a swoosh of energy exiting our body as we disassociate.
On the other hand when we’re connected to the witness/observer, we are very much embodied and in our center. We are still home to pick up the information and to connect with the wisdom. Witnessing the events of our life unfold as the witness/observer is a calming sensation. We may feel a sense of wholeness in our belly and around our heart. We maintain our groundedness here on the earthly plane.
As we continue our spiritual journey and do our personal healing, we become more aware of the witness/observer and find it easier to hear its wisdom and receive its steadying reassurance. The stillness and quiet that comes from a regular meditation practice helps us access our witness/observer. For me, walking in nature and journeying are also effective in accessing that aspect of my being.
In the middle of facing challenges in our life, connecting to the witness/observer brings comfort. Even in the midst of the pain, a portion of our awareness recognizes that this is an opportunity for us to learn a spiritual lesson.
When my father was ill and dying, my witness/observer brought the message that I would be okay, that this experience was part of my walk with learning to be comfortable with death. This knowingness helped to relieve a portion of my suffering and allowed me to feel supported.
This work is real, and it matters.
February 1, 2022