I’ll never forget the first time I was praised in a way that felt good to me. It was in my former life as a graphic designer for a catalog company. My mentor, a person I held in high regard, looked me directly in the eye and told me what he liked about working with me, citing three or four specific examples.
It wasn’t so much what he said, but the way he said it. He maintained eye contact the whole time we were talking, which told me he was sincere and cared about me as a person. His words were not prepared in advance yet carried power because he was moved in the moment to share them. The specific examples he gave helped me understand what he valued about my work.
The impact of our interaction was immediate and lasting. I glowed from within the rest of the day, and years later, I still think fondly of him.
Seeing my mentor so successfully model giving positive feedback in this way finally helped me understand what business books such as The One Minute Manager were talking about.
In spiritual circles, we have other terms for this. We might call it being mirrored, or we might refer to it as expressing heartfelt appreciation. But the principles are the same.
One of the most meaningful things we can do is to look another human being directly in the eyes, speak from our heart, and let them know specifically what we appreciate about them.
Is there someone you would like to express heartfelt appreciation to today?