As far back as I can remember, I have not had a strong desire to be a mother. This thought crystallized in high school, when I reached the conclusion I didn’t want to have children.
On my 39th birthday I revisited this to see whether it was still true. I checked in with myself and sat with the question. At 39, my biological clock was ticking. If something had changed for me, I would need to take action sooner rather than later.
The reflection took less than 24 hours, and I realized I still didn’t want to have children. So I went about my life.
As I continued down my spiritual path, I had a better understanding of the soul contracts I chose for this lifetime. A big part of my purpose in this incarnation was to become a healer, teacher, writer, and speaker. Because I didn’t have children to care for, I’ve had the time and spaciousness to whole-heartedly pursue my healing journey and serve the world in my unique way.
The decision about whether or not to have children is a very personal one. My choice isn’t what most women make, but it was the right one for me.
At the end of my life, the legacy I leave behind will be the clients and students whose lives I’ve touched. This warms my heart and strengthens my sense of meaning and purpose.
Our legacy lives on in many ways – through memories of cherished times with loved ones, through funny stories, through the love we’ve given, and through the wisdom we’ve shared at the right moments.
In ancestral classes and sessions, I hold the prayer that the benefit and blessing of the healing ripples out to the ancestors, to the current generations, and to the generations yet to come. People often ask what happens if they don’t have children.
Our personal healing is also part of our legacy. The choices we make to grow and develop healthier habits, to break dysfunctional patterns, and to clear intergenerational trauma impacts all of those nearby – our family, our friends, and all those whose lives intersect with ours.
This work is real, and it matters.
February 2, 2022