The other day a meme popped up in my newsfeed that got me thinking. It posed the question, “What’s something you say to your pets that you want to say to yourself?”

An answer came to mind immediately. It’s something I often say to my cat Pippin. When she wants a belly rub, she’ll flop down on the floor in front of me. There’s just so much cuteness in her little furry cat body that invariably I will bend down and rustle her tummy fur while saying, “Ooh, look at the cute Buddha belly!” This is said with a coo, without any disparagement intended. In those moments, I truly love and admire her rotund abdomen because it makes her who she is.

This is what I wish to say to myself and truly mean it: “Debra, look at your cute Buddha belly.”

Rather than getting down on myself because of the size and shape of my body, I want to embrace it in all of its bodaciousness and natural beauty. Honestly, I’m working on it but I’m not quite there yet.

Speaking to ourself with the same love and kindness that we use with our pets would help our self-esteem. Yes we’d still get frustrated with ourselves from time to time, but we’d quickly get over it and be unconditionally loving again five minutes later. This is self-compassion.

This work is real, and it matters.

December 6, 2021