Several months ago, I was weepy and emotional, doing some deep catharsis. I did my best to be present with the pain so it would move through rather than lingering. My soul began whispering in its quiet voice that a hug would help me put my pieces back together.
Human contact and connection are known as “core needs of the soul.” Every soul desires these energies – and in fact needs them to survive and flourish. There are many core needs of the soul. Other examples are empowerment, respect, confidence, balance, and rest and relaxation. (In her book “Completely Connected: Uniting Our Empathy and Insight for Extraordinary Results,” Rita Marie Johnson gives a longer list of core soul needs.)
When our soul begins to express discomfort, it’s helpful to track what’s going on underneath the surface. In my case, I didn’t want someone to do my emotional work for me – my soul wanted human touch to help mirror that I am loved and safe (two more core needs of the soul).
When we listen to the core needs of the soul, they bring clarity and give us a language to express our needs. We can also begin to notice them in others. Responding using what we’ve noticed can be very affirming:
“I’m so sorry your family wasn’t there for you when you needed their SUPPORT.”
“I RESPECT you and honor your decision.”
“I’ve missed our CONNECTION. Are you available to talk?”
“Your inner wisdom guided you to CLARITY.”
Paying attention to core soul needs can help us better understand ourselves and others. When we discover unmet needs within our being, we can then seek to meet those needs. One of the healthiest ways to do so is by asking clearly and directly for what we need.
I followed through on my awareness that my soul needed human contact and reached out to a group of friends to see if anyone was available to come to my house and be with me for awhile.
If I hadn’t asked, I might have become resentful, angry or even more sad. Because I asked, someone responded and two hours later, after a long ten-minute hug, my soul was at peace.
This work is real, and it matters.
October 18, 2021