Three commonplace scenarios:
· You notice a coworker’s energy seems off. They appear tired and slightly sluggish, like they might be coming down with a cold. You ask them how they are feeling, and they say, “Just fine.” Do you believe them?
· You run into an old friend you haven’t seen in years while out doing errands. It’s really good to see them again, and you realize you want to rekindle the friendship. You ask them if they’d like to go for coffee sometime. They pause, cross their arms in front of their chest, and reply, “Sure, I’d like that.” Do they want to get together for coffee?
· You call a dear friend to chat, and she says it’s a convenient time for her to talk. You hear water running and dishes clinking in the background. You also notice the unmistakable sounds of kids arguing. She seems distracted, then she excuses herself for a moment to check on the children. Is this a good time to have your chat?
When faced with a discrepancy between words and energy, we always believe the energy. We seem to know this instinctively – witness the three examples above.
We can twist words to serve our purposes and bend words to our will. We can mislead and deceive with our words. We know this – we’ve even done it ourselves, sometimes quite innocently.
Tuning in to the energy always reveals the truth. We may occasionally interpret energy incorrectly and manufacture a meaning other than what was intended, but the energy itself never misleads. The more we practice reading the energy, the more skillful we become at tracking it, and the more we trust it.
As young children, we grew adept at deciphering nonverbal cues out of necessity. Reading the body language, tone of voice, level of distractedness, and moods of those around us served as a defense mechanism to keep us out of trouble.
As adults, when more is at risk and the outcome may be very important to us, we sometimes become confused by the incongruence between someone’s words and energy. But tracking the energy to uncover the underlying truth of the situation works in all cases, even where the stakes are higher, such as deciding whether to remain in a relationship or whether to switch jobs.
this is so funny we seem to be on the same wavelength yesterday I encountered a person that attended an event I gave feigning interest he made faces and glowered and pursed his lips several times and I kept getting this person doesn’t like you, he does not really want to be here and finds you threatning I am tuning in and I know that I am right
Your words are spot on. As adults, we work our words to make all those around us feel comfortable or at ease, even when we are out of sorts. We don’t want to put our burdens on others. But in an office environment, as in a family, negative energy isn’t easily hidden.
Robin, you bring up a good point. A lot of discrepancies between words and energy come from the "social niceties." And those who spend the most time with us – i.e. our families and coworkers – become very adept at reading our energy, so they pick up on the discrepancies.