I once told my therapist I was afraid of being needy. Her response helped me shift this old piece of programming. She counseled me that having needs doesn’t make you needy. Everyone has needs.
Likewise, having emotions doesn’t make you emotionally unstable. Everyone has emotions.
It’s more about how we seek to meet our needs and express our emotions. There are a range of ways to do this, some more skillful than others.
In an attempt to meet our needs, we might manipulate, intimidate, or act from a place of victimhood. A more evolved way of meeting our needs is to ask for what we want and need clearly and directly – and then to accept a “no” when it doesn’t work for the other person.
We might stuff down down our emotions, vent our anger inappropriately, or be so self-absorbed we pay no attention to anyone else’s feelings. As we become more spiritually mature, we realize the value in being present with our emotions and giving ourselves the time and space to feel and express them.
Having needs and emotions are part of the human experience and by denying them, we limit our freedom. When we learn to share these tender parts of ourselves, we live more joyfully in greater alignment with our soul.
This work is real, and it matters.
October 12, 2021