When a friend or loved one faces a challenge, our natural inclination is to jump in and try to fix things. After all, we love that person dearly, and it hurts us to see them in pain.

We want so badly to be able to do something, we tend either to take over or to offer unsolicited advice and opinions. Both of these reactions can be less than helpful and may create animosity or resentment. Both options can also interfere with our loved one’s learning process. (We very rarely learn a life lesson from hearing the story of someone else’s experience. The biggest life learning comes from our own direct experience.)

Another way of providing assistance to a struggling loved one is by holding space for them.

When we hold space for another person, we allow them the room and the time they need to heal, to grow, to find the clarity or insight they need to move through the challenge.

This may seem cold and unfeeling when we first shift our perspective, and it may sound like we’re not doing anything. But holding space isn’t the same as doing nothing. When we hold space for someone, we visualize them in the light and add our prayers for whatever healing intention they have set. We give compassionate witness.

It also frees us to support them in the ways they find helpful – by offering a listening ear, dropping in with a meal, or accompanying them to a doctor appointment. To find out what assistance they would welcome, just ask.

When we hold space for someone, we take a step back and see the situation from a higher perspective. We are still there for them, but in a way that allows them to stay in their power and experience what they need to heal and grow. It honors them and respects their wisdom and their path.