Our shadow pieces are aspects of our personality we so deeply deny that we keep them hidden from view, only to have them pop out in unexpected, embarrassing or hurtful ways.
We perceive of our shadow traits as so bad, so awful, so harmful to our image of ourselves that we disown them and send them into exile. Yet, that which we deny holds great power, and by pushing them away, we give them energy and strength. Eventually the pressure builds, and we act out of our shadow.
A married family values politician who becomes embroiled in a sex scandal is acting out of shadow. A Catholic priest who sexually abuses children is acting out of shadow. Shadow manifests in less sensation ways as well, such as disowning our anger, then having it find expression through passive-aggressive behavior.
Often, we keep the secret of our shadow even from ourselves. We may not realize what we’re doing, even while acting out of our shadow. We somehow divorce ourselves from the impact our words have on others. In our minds, we justify our actions, dress them up and explain them away. We disconnect our behavior from that thing we don’t like about ourselves. But there it is, being shown to the world.
Because of the nature of shadow, it is difficult to see. So, how do we know when we’re acting out of our shadow? Here are several energetic clues that help bring it into our awareness:
1) through the reaction of those around us – Through the mirror of other, we gain insight into our shadow when someone reacts to our words or actions in a way other than what we expected. If we catch ourselves thinking something like, “I’m just trying to be helpful. Why do people always take it wrong?,” we might want to take a closer look at what is being reflected for us.
2) through a furtive energy – Whenever we want to keep a behavior secret because we would be deeply embarrassed should it come to light, we’re likely acting out of our shadow.
3) through coyote energy – Shadow pieces sometimes carry trickster energy. This arises when our wise, higher self questions whether we should take an action, and we feel a compulsion to move forward anyway. Then when we do, we get zapped by our shadow.
4) what is shown to us by others – A strong, visceral reaction to specific personality traits in others mirrors to us something we don’t like about ourselves. If we find judgmental people annoying, then we would sit with our judgmental shadow.
When a shadow piece begins to come into our awareness, it often feels vague and nebulous, even slippery. We may become frustrated or unsettled at our inability to clearly define it. When this happens, loosely hold the question, “What shadow piece wants my attention?” Live with the question spaciously and allow it to come into your awareness in perfect timing.
As we slowly accept this part of our self and treat it with kindness and compassion, our shadow doesn’t need to hide in the dark any longer. It slowly steps out into the light for healing. When we reclaim the parts we’ve been afraid to acknowledge, we become a fuller, richer embodiment of our True Self.
An invocation
We call now to our shadow pieces that have been living in exile. We invite these shadow pieces to step into the light and come home. We embrace ALL of who we are, our sacred wholeness, and we open to the Great Mystery of healing. Blessed be.