You matter, your pain matters
Everyone experiences pain differently. What might be traumatizing for one person may not be for another. One of the easiest ways to understand this is with an example. Let’s imagine that a child around 4 or 5 years old gets separated from their parent at the mall – a very common occurrence that happens to many children. If the child was shy or timid, it might trigger deep panic and separation anxiety. But not every youngster would be frightened. If the child was outgoing and a bit of a ham, the parent might find them playing in the fountain...
The shadow of being an empath
Back in elementary school, my brother had a basketball hoop and Nerf ball that Mom let him use indoors. He especially liked to play over winter when it was too cold to be outside. Because he got hot running around the living room, he would wear a pair of shorts and nothing else. Invariably, my mom would look at him bare-chested and bare-legged on a frigid Minnesota day and say, “Go put on some clothes! You’re making me cold.” My mother’s discomfort about what my brother was wearing wasn’t about him – he was plenty warm from the activity. But...
The concept of seniority
Several years ago the cats and I were reading in bed one night. They suddenly became very interested in something on the floor. When I realized they were watching a centipede scuttle along the floorboard, I panicked. I jumped out of bed as gracefully as possible with two cats in my way and went into attack mode. By the time I turned on the overhead light and reached for a shoe, the bug had a head start. With all those legs, it was moving fast. I swatted at it ineffectually a couple of times and only succeeded in chasing it under the bed. My...
The repercussions of “playing favorites” within a family
Some parents play favorites. They choose a child to be “the golden one.” This child can do no wrong. Unfortunately when a family has decided that someone is “good,” there is often someone deemed “bad.” This other child is seen as unable to do anything right. All the perceived failings of the family are projected onto them and they become a pariah. If the dynamic is pronounced enough, the child labeled as the problem will leave or be kicked out of the family to make their way in the world alone. This unhealthy pattern may become generational –...
“I embrace my becoming”
Every time one of my new series begins, each participant sets a personal intention to guide their healing for the duration of the class. I often keep the secret from myself that I will also be called on to set an intention. It comes as a surprise the evening we do this activity, and I’m in the creative, receptive listening process with the group. The “Staying Centered in Difficult Times” class started in October. We have met twice. Last week we set our intentions. This time, I was very aware that I would do one too. A couple of weeks earlier,...
It’s time for ancestral healing
A client recently said, “The heavy energy in my family has been kicked down the road for too long. It’s time to say enough!” We can look around the world and see the result of unhealed family lineages. Many of these patterns have been carried for generations. The realization that we don’t want to pass on this legacy any longer is powerful. When we heal our family, we heal ourselves and make the world a better place for our children and grandchildren. This work is real, and it matters. October 29, 2021