When we’re learning a new skill or setting an intention to create change in our lives, a filter question can be a helpful tool to guide our decision-making process.

Let’s say for instance that we wanted to eat healthier. We would determine a filter question to support us in making healthy choices. If a coworker celebrating their birthday brought doughnuts to work, we would pause before reaching into the bakery box and ask ourselves, “What would a person with healthy eating habits do?” And then we would use the answer to guide our response. In this situation, we might stop by and wish our coworker a happy birthday but politely decline a doughnut in favor of an apple later.

Here’s another example. Imagine that we recently came to the realization we were being too harsh with ourselves, so we set an intention to be more gentle and forgiving. The next time our inner critic went to work because we failed to live up to  our expectation for ourselves, we might ask, “Would I talk to a friend the way I’m talking to myself?” More than likely we would be gentle and forgiving with a friend in that situation, so we would stop the negative self-talk.

When we first develop a new skill or begin creating a healthy habit, we may need the filter question every time we find ourselves in an unexpected situation. If we persevere, over time we find ourselves needing the filter question less and less as our decision-making process becomes more automatic and consistently in line with our new intention.

Have you ever used a filter question? What was the result?