Having needs doesn’t make you needy
I once told my therapist I was afraid of being needy. Her response helped me shift this old piece of programming. She counseled me that having needs doesn’t make you needy. Everyone has needs. Likewise, having emotions doesn’t make you emotionally unstable. Everyone has emotions. It’s more about how we seek to meet our needs and express our emotions. There are a range of ways to do this, some more skillful than others. In an attempt to meet our needs, we might manipulate, intimidate, or act from a place of victimhood. A more evolved way of...
Using trauma skills after a fall
One recent morning, I was walking with a friend at Steinke Basin. We were so engrossed in our conversation I lost track of my surroundings. A rock jutting up from the trail tripped me, and I began to fall in slow motion. At first I thought I would regain my balance, but I did not and ended up face first on the hard dirt path. My friend offered to help me up, but I laid there for a few minutes before moving. I assessed the situation and scanned my body for any signs of obvious injury. Nothing was broken, nothing was sprained. I had some road...
Misty fall morning at Steinke Basin
It was a mysterious, mist-filled morning at Steinke Basin. I overheard the crows having their morning conversation. Once I reached the woods, the blue jays announced my presence to the creatures of the forest. Some purple and white asters still bloomed, and I spied the flowers of a last bottle gentian. I walked right through the middle of a flock of LBJ’s. I heard the sound of their wings as they took flight. It happened so suddenly, I was unable to identify the birds. A birding friend calls them LBJ’s for “little brown jobs,” his term for a...
You are not alone
Lately nearly everyone mentions that they are way more anxious and easily triggered than usual. I attribute this to the crazy world we live in. Two years of a global pandemic and political unrest have affected everyone, on all sides of the aisle. Our reserves have already been depleted so when something upsetting happens, we have no energy stores to fall back on. If you fall into a place of negative self-talk, please opt for kindness and gently redirect yourself away from any messages of blame or self-judgment. We’re all doing the best we can...
Honoring our pet’s wishes
Our pets tell us what they want and need. Quite a few years ago, I first began feeding my cats wet food in addition to kibble. At the time, Mollie had a UTI and needed the extra hydration. I would split a small can between the three of them, but Mollie got all the extra juice. One morning as I was preparing their portions, her brother Teddy jumped up on the counter and looked me directly in the eye. He said quite clearly, “I want JUICE!” There was no mistaking the message – I heard his voice in my head. I chuckled because that was classic...
Be the calm
I am what is known in the medical world as a “hard stick.” My veins wiggle ahead of the needle, so starting an IV and getting blood draws for labwork can be problematic. I deal with medical trauma because of this. About a year ago, I was at the hospital being prepped for a procedure. It was during the pandemic, so the friend who held my hand in the past could not accompany me. That morning was particularly difficult. The nurse who would be helping with the procedure, a middle-aged man named Larry, came to ask me some questions. He had a...